So I'm usually very much into the holiday season and spirit and all that stuff, but this year...I'm just not feeling it. This is not to say that I feel all "humbug" about it, but i'm not really overtaken by it this year. The very quick season certainly doesn't help things. I mean, I was just visiting friends and family in Alabama, and it's already a week until Christmas? Geez!
Another big thing is that my house has been such a disaster area lately that I haven't been able to get it clean enough to actually make space for a tree, or dust a surface for a fun candle. That I occasionally have a clean plate to eat off of and clean underwear every day is pretty much as much as I can get accomplished. I really do like my place, and when it's all nice and clean it's a very comfortable place. The problem is that I am lazy, so its rarely clean.
But I think the biggest thing about it all is that I'm just not that interested this year. This is the second time in my life I haven't been in the mood to celebrate, but the first time was right after my long term relationship ended. I was in a mood for a bit, as you might guess. This year, though, there's nothing wrong; I'm in no mood. I have listened to all the seasonal music I love like every year, and enjoyed it. Chills from The Cambridge Singers' version of Silent Night, getting funky with Cee-Lo, tapping my toes to The Puppini Sisters, I've heard it and had a good time. No worries, just not all swept away as I have been in other years.
And I think 'm kind of enjoying it. As an adult, I get to choose what is worth my time and energies. I've done SO MUCH throughout my life because of other people's expectations, and it's nice to make the choice for myself. I've seen friends post so much about how stressed they are by it all, and how there's not enough time, and how spending so much time with their families sucks, and how they hate how expensive it is, and on and on. It feels nice to not be stressed. The demands on my time are the same now as they usually are. Plenty of friends have had parties, which I fully support, so I get to see everyone, and some lovely decorations. I got to spend a great long weekend with my family at Thanksgiving, so I'm not missing them too much yet. I'm also extraordinarily fortunate to have the kind of family one enjoys spending time with. I'm opting out of gifts for financial reasons this year, so once again, no pressure.
This is not to say that I'm all heartless here. I just saw the Apple commercial with the family Christmas video and teared up a little. This week I'll go see the all the German finery downtown and drink some mulled wine from a festive collector's mug. Later, I'll go see the lights at the zoo, maybe check out the big tree at Macy's State Street. There will be a viewing of It's A Wonderful Life, and there will be sausage balls.
I can say with no hesitation that checking out for Christmas this year has been a delight. Maybe next year I'll get excited about it all again, and actually put up my ornaments from Holiday World and Alaska. Or maybe I won't. And that's okay too.